The Bachelorette Australia returned to our screens last night and I am ridiculously happy about that! I usually find The Bachelor a bit boring and the drama too forced, so I only watched a couple episodes half heartedly, but going off people’s reaction’s to Matty and his personality, apparently I didn’t miss much. I always find myself enjoying The Bachelorette more, and I’m extra excited for this season as our bachelorette is Sophie Monk!
After rising to fame as part of girl group Bardot in the early 2000s, Sophie then went on star in a bunch of movies and date some people in Hollywood, but nothing eventuated into anything. I first became aware of Sophie when she starred in a season of Celebrity Apprentice Australia a few years back and instantly loved her blunt humour and quick wit, so I knew she’d be an entertaining bachelorette! She’s back in Australia and on our screens and is ~ready to find love~ and I’m excited to see it all unfold! I’m not sure if I’ll commentate each episode, but please enjoy 50 of my thoughts I had during the first episode and don’t forget to give this post a “like” if you do!
1. Sophie Monk is so freaking stunning. Her cheekbones are higher than my GPA and her eyes bigger than my future.
2. I can’t believe she lives on the Gold Coast #Queenslanda’
3. I love her yellow top in her to-camera interviews.
4. When is The Bachelor/ette garden never not absolutely gorgeous.
5. I’ve always wanted
Andrew G Osher to be the #Bachie one year because it would be a good role reversal but he’s already in a loving and committed relationship! He’s one of the lucky ones who found love outside of a mansion and away from group photoshoots for Woman’s Day.
6. Sophie looks so good in this episode’s pink dress.
7. She’s making me miss having long hair and a centre part, and I centre part was my look for years. #BringBackTheCentrePart
8. Alright I just know I’m going to get uni ball outfit inspiration from Sophie throughout this season.
9. But excuse me but there’s a SMOKE MACHINE STARTING TO FUNCTION.
10. Scratch that, there’s now a FIRE BALL too.
11. I don’t know how I feel about purple felt suits and the name Apollo and this man is both. He is also a magician.
12. Sophie just used the word ‘nerd burger’ to describe what she used to think magicians were like.
13. He’s growing on me, I think he’ll go far but not win.
14. YOOO this next guy’s introduction video includes a WINE VINEYARD and ALPACAS. #Signmetfup
15. I don’t feel a spark. Should have perhaps brought along an alpaca, or at least a bottle of vino.
16. WAIT he has a bucket of grapes and wants them to smash them with their feet together and all I’m thinking about is HER DRESS MIGHT GET DIRTY.
17. A scaffolder just exited the limo in a fluorescent orange suit. It’s a no from me.
18. This man is 30 something and is break dancing in front of Sophie Monk and will kick her by accident soon.
19. James seems so NICE and NERVOUS!
20. Okay three 10 year olds just hopped out of the limo and I’m like honestly the bachelors this year are just getting too young.
21. Uncle Sam is nice but the dangling side bits of his hair and the comb over is not.
22. Oh my lord Jourdan is mid TWENTIES (Sophie is mid thirties for reference).
23. Luke is FAB, I love him, I want him to win. #SaltandPepper
24. Insert montage of uninteresting men destined to go home early.
25. One guy is wearing a MUSTARD suit and just dabbed upon meeting Sophie. One more strike and he’s out.
26. Can this guy stop singing.
27. Hi, I cannot stand Blake.
28. Honestly why are all these men so young, what can you provide Sophie.
29. Ryan is a creep, he’s standing so close to Sophie and interrogating her. Chill.
30. Apollo getting starstruck upon seeing Osher is the biggest mood of the night.
31. If Ryan cut me off before I could give my big, first speech I would give him a back hand.
32. The boys gatecrashing Ryan gives me life.
33. AW JOURDAN’S CRYING 😦 A wound has been opened tonight.
34. HAHA LMAO WHAT NO ONE CHEATED ON JOURDAN, HE DIDN’T CHEAT. HE’S JUST CRYIN.
35. Sophie is so patient–
36. THERE IS A POSSUM IN THE POOL 🙂 Everyone is calling it an otter but I don’t even know if we have those in Australia?
37. “The two man buns, the two clean cuts,” I love this.
38. TWO WORDS: WALK OFF.
39. THESE MAN BUNS ARE LIVING THEIR BEST LIVES DURING THIS WALK OFF. MAN BUN 2 HAS PERFORMED A BACK FLIP.
40. Stop throwing your clothes on Sophie. ALSO how did mustard suit, dabbing boy get his underwear off without taking off his pants? Did he genuinely rip his underwear off?
41. Can the Man Buns please win.
42. I can’t believe Man Bun 1, also know as
Uncle Sam, lost.
43. OH I SEE WHAT SHE DID. She wants him to do the run around the pool.
44. This is amazing. He’s wearing long johns. It must be freezing.
45. GET THAT DOUBLE DELIGHT ROSE SAM, GET IT.
46. I’m glad she picked Apollo, Luke, James, Harry, basically a lot of guys but not Blake.
47. Biggest groan as she picks Ryan.
48. Jourdan literally accepts his rose with a limp. Will the limp ever be explained?
49. Mustard suit, underwear ripping man gets a rose and RUINS it with a dab.
50. Honestly when were these two guys who are going home ever featured during this episode.
So there you have it! 50 thoughts I had during The Bachelorette Premiere! Did you watch it last night? What were your thoughts? Leave me a comment below, I’d love to hear them!
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All the love,